100 days project
I was very blocked earlier this year. Then I caught an epiphany it was inspired by the critics of President Obama. They were either applauding or complaining about his 100 days accomplishment since becoming President. I won’t comment on that since the country and government is too complicated, there are no easy answers for that. We as a people have to understand that.
So while listening on the radio, the announcer asked the audience, "What have you done in 100 days?" I had no grand answer for him. So I looked at a calendar and determined from May 4th to Aug. 3rd are 100 days. I was going to accomplish something, Create, Improve, Achieve. I felt like Tony Robbins, I felt extra positive. I made a list of things I wanted to work on and attempted to work on them.
1. I started to walk as an exercise to loose weight. I also looked into joining a gym.
2. I entered a Nurses’ Assistant program, to get a steady paying job.
3. I also rewrote a chapter of a story I am working on and completed a chapter to my satisfaction.
4. I attended church more this year than I did last year.
It all started well. But some where during the middle of my hundred days I fell lethargic. I got tired and stuck. I didn’t know how to get myself out of it. I just knew I felt like crap and I didn’t like it but I couldn’t find my way out. I lost track of my hundred days project. Thinking about it made me fell like a failure again. I had this idea that if the hundred days worked for me, I good get other people to join the circle and help themselves. I know a lot of people that really really really hate their positions in life and I thought this grass-root support group could help.
I thought that if I accomplished the things on my list. I could say see look at this, look at me, if lazy me can do this you can too. But three weeks to end of my days and I feel like I didn’t do as much as I should. I feel like I lost. Howver I will not give up. Simply because I had another epiphany, thanks to the Obamas again and Sesame Street.
I don’t talk about her much on this site. But I have a daughter and I don’t want her to see me giving up. I have given her some really bad habits. I took a test, I am 77% lazy. That doesn’t bode well for my future. If I continue with that percentage. I want my kid to have the life I didn’t have. The better life. The life she likes more than lives with because there is no better alternative. So giving up is not an option.
Do I call this suffering?