Monthly Archives: July 2009

On every Blog

I am posting this on every blog I have because sometimes I like to synchronize.
 

100 days project

I was very blocked earlier this year.  Then I caught an epiphany it was inspired by the critics of President Obama.  They were either applauding or complaining about his 100 days accomplishment since becoming President.  I won’t comment on that since the country and government is too complicated, there are no easy answers for that.  We as a people have to understand that. 

So while listening on the radio, the announcer asked the audience, "What have you done in 100 days?"   I had no grand answer for him.  So I looked at a calendar and determined from May 4th to Aug. 3rd are 100 days.  I was going to accomplish something, Create, Improve, Achieve.  I felt like Tony Robbins, I felt extra positive.    I made a list of things I wanted to work on and attempted to work on them.  

1. I started to walk as an exercise to loose weight.  I also looked into joining a gym.

2. I entered a Nurses’ Assistant program, to get a steady paying job.

3. I also rewrote a chapter of a story I am working on and completed a chapter to my satisfaction.    

4. I attended church more this year than I did last year. 

It all started well.  But some where during the middle of my hundred days I fell lethargic.  I got tired and stuck.  I didn’t know how to get myself out of it.   I just knew I felt like crap and I didn’t like it but I couldn’t find my way out.    I lost track of my hundred days project.    Thinking about it made me fell like a failure again.  I had this idea that if the hundred days worked for me,  I good get other people to join the circle and help themselves.    I know a lot of people that really really really hate their positions in life and I thought this grass-root support group could help.  
 I thought that if I accomplished the things on my list.  I could say see look at this, look at me, if lazy me can do this you can too.  But three weeks to end of my days and I feel like I didn’t do as much as I should.  I feel like I lost.  Howver I will not give up. Simply because I had another epiphany, thanks to the Obamas again and Sesame Street.  
I don’t talk about her much on this site.  But I have a daughter and I don’t want her to see me giving up.  I have given her some really bad habits.  I took a test, I am 77% lazy.  That doesn’t bode well for my future.  If I continue with that percentage.  I want my kid to have the life I didn’t have.  The better life.  The life she likes more than lives with because there is no better alternative.   So giving up is not an option. 

Do I call this suffering? 

 

Wow

I meant to post something I wrote on another site.   But I got inspired to vent my rage.  I hate it when people who don’t know how or why a person is doing something comments on it negatively.  I won’t be specific because this is the internet and I still respect this person I think.  I just can’t stand their attitude and the constant ability to make other people feel like crap and I don’t think that person realizes how much power they had over everyone’s lives. 
 
I had a dream last year, that totally explained my dilemma.  How the people in my life affected me with their words.  It made me think about how my words affected my kid.  I am always looking for a way to make things better for the people in  my life.  But sometimes the words they use can just make you feel horrible.  
 
So for who ever reads this Be careful with your words.