My kid ends every phone call to me with I love you. I have not asked her why but I can presume. We have seriously ill family members. She tries to make sure her last words to me is love. At first I thought it weird for an 18 year old. We are close and I am the cynical one. But I also remember all the bad that is happening in the world and I let her know I love her too. In fact I now end all my family texts or emails with xxoo, kisses and hugs, because that is what I want my family to remember. There was a time I ended every blog entry with the word Peace. It was most likely after September 11, 2001. Everyone was scared and angry. I don’t know when I stopped that but I might start it up again. We need peace and love in the world.
Last week was the kid’s birthday, she is now a sweet 19 years old. I am so happy that she had made it this far. I hope she has many more birthdays and great experiences. Not everyone is blessed.
My plans to post an entry in January was seriously interrupted. First I had no topic. The short story Lucky Thirteen had a setback. I had to evaluate risk and consequences of the characters. Next was my desire to maintain a daily blog. It is supposed to be about health, fitness, well-being, 100 days project XX at 100daysvi.blogspot.com. I got lost in the drive to produce instead of making quality. Attempting to maintain six website blogs, manage a household, care for an ill relative, make up and comply to a weight loss strategy and write a three novels or novellas is taking a toll. Then I get depressed and fat. Eating the wrong things at the wrong time of day and not caring about the overall goal. The truly strange thing is that along with the unplanned eating, I still feel like a machine on go all the time. There is no real down time when you work at home and home is work. Last I may write a sorry entry on one of the website/blogs, vow never to do this again. I make sure I write 300+words and the cycle starts up again.
It is getting easier to meet the personal writing challenge. I am thinking about raising the word count, 300 words may be too easy. I am surpassing the word count which means the exercise is working. The lifestyle challenge is the real difficult one. Making plans and keeping them. I think this entry is getting redundant.
I think it is happening because I was off a decent sleep schedule. I was exhausted in the day and up all night. Not able to write because I am trying to force myself to sleep. No sleep wreaks havoc on everything. At the end of last week I was disappointed. I didn’t accomplish any of things I wanted to do writing wise. Instead I watched anime and listened to audio books, I found some entertaining books. Books I am supposed to be reading. I have to curb my internet and TV times. They are one of my worst distractions.
If this entry is as directionless as I think it is, by all means leave a comment. I will greatly appreciate.